Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Hetalia Drabbles

Started writing these the other day, don't know why :3 I know, I'm spamming here, but whatever~

Um, the Bass World thing, it's....it's true. My pal Lydia and I are always ignored in our tiny bass section of the orchestra, and we really are thinking of opening up a store called "Corner Snacks". Anyway.

On the Hetalia-ness!

**********


Belarus kicked down the door with maniacal glee, holding the detached door knob in her hand.  “Oh Russia~!” she called happily.  “The door that was separating us is now gone! Let’s get married.”
But Russia was not in the room.  Belarus frowned and looked around for him, but he was nowhere to be seen.  All she saw was a….Little Belarus?
“Yo,” Mirtil said, pulling a cleaver out of thin air.  “I’m Russia’s new bodyguard.  You are in violation of your restraining order.”

***

Screams rang through the haunted house as Mar, Mir, Lydia, and Thalia ran for their lives.  It wasn’t the zombies, decapitated bodies, blood, or vampires that had scared them.  No, they had laughed at all of that.  It was something far, far worse than anything else you would expect to find in a haunted house.
Poland frowned after the screaming girls.  “Like, what’s their problem?” he asked his pony.
The pony made a strange whiny noise in response.  When Poland turned away, its eyes flashed red.

***

“Yo, Iggy!” America shouted.
England sighed and turned around.  “What do you want, you git?”
The Land of the Free did his hero laugh.  “Just wanted to let you know that I’ll call you around 7:15 p.m. this Saturday to let you know the time and date France tells me for when all of the Allies are going to see the new Twilight movie!”
The next thing America knew, England was shaking him back and forth by his collar.  “Call me during Doctor Who,” he snarled, “and I’ll kill you.”

***

“No!  Not the hamburger!  Anything but the hamburger!”
China waved his wok threateningly.  “Then admit it, aru!” he roared.  Despite popular belief, China could be very scary when he wanted to.  “Admit that Hello Kitty is better than Superman!”
“I…I admit it!  Hello Kitty is better than Superman!  Now, spare the hamburger!”
Satisfied, China nodded at his accomplice.  Thalia took the blowtorch away from the McDonalds bag and tossed the heart attack in a wrapper to America, who ran far away, clutching his prize.
Thalia looked at China pointedly.  “You owe me lunch.”

***

Canada sighed and walked to the Corner of Rejection.  Everyone at the world meeting had forgotten about him.  Again.
To his surprise, there were already two girls sitting there, looking quite glum.
They waved at him.  “We’re Double Bass World,” one said.  “Population, two.  Our orchestra always forgets about us.”
“Ah,” Canada said.  He sat down next to them.  “I’m Canada.”
“Yes, we know who you are,” the other member of Double Bass World sighed.  She stared at him.  “Y’know, we’re thinking about opening a food business called Corner Snacks, for those who frequent the Corner of Rejection.  What do you think?”
“Well, as long as you have maple syrup, I guess it sounds like a good idea.”
Next time Canada visited that corner, Double Bass World had a food cart, including maple syrup.

***

Japan thought back to his first encounter with Switzerland, when he had been shocked at how different the other personified nation had been from his expectations.  He remembered how he had thought they would be dancing around in a mountain field, only to find out that Switzerland was the kind of person who would happily shoot Japan if he ever found out that that had been Japan’s idea of him.
I see now,’ Japan thought.  ‘I had him mistaken for Poland.’
“Stupid me!” he said, slapping himself lightly in the face.
Poland observed him with a bored expression.  His puffy dress bounced slightly as he cross his arms.  “So, like, are we gonna dance or not?”

4 comments:

  1. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That's HYSTERICAL! ALL OF IIIITTT!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is love.

    What do I have to do to get you to write Nordics?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're going to write Nordics!

    *explodes from sheer glee*

    ReplyDelete